I think someone has a crush on me. It's both complimentary and unnerving all in one. It's a co-worker, married at that and I have been observing the behaviour closely, just to make sure that I'm not jumping to any conclusions.
I'm almost positive that I'm right. He just returned to work after a two week vacation and rushed over to talk to me. It wasn't good enough to stand at a respectable distance, but I noticed that he found some excuse to get as close to my chair as possible. I'm usually not the nervous type but I must say that it does make me feel uncomfortable.
And there lies my question. When does an innocent crush become sexual harassment?
I guess that depends on the people involved and the degree that it bothers you. I did notice one day before his vacation, he stopped talking to me for a minute to rub my arm, pretending to admire the blouse I was wearing. I must admit the colour was a breathtaking blue, but I've never been compelled to rub 100% Cotton myself. It's not like velvet, is it? I figure he just couldn't control himself any further and had to have an excuse to touch my arm.
If I was really distressed by this transgression, would that be considered sexual harassment? Or am I just experiencing the actions that will lead up to a full blown sexual harassment episode? Not sure what I should do, if anything.
I've tried to be very short with him when he comes to ask for guidance from me. It's part of my job to monitor his work and show him how to do his job. I don't encourage any discussion more than what is work related, but he finds ways to small talk as much as he can.
I'm sure it will all work out, but it just struck me the other day when I was thinking about it, that if I was attracted to him it would be great, but because I'm not, it's offensive.
5 comments:
Meanwhile on the guys blog he's commenting:
"I think a girl in the office has a crush on me, everytime I look round she's looking at me, it almost seems as if she's observing my every movement"
I'm with Jack, its a fine line but touching shouldnt happen. If the suggestions start then there might be an issue.
Thanks for sharing a "male" point of view. I really do think he's harmless, just hasn't quite gotten used to life in the year 2004 maybe. hehehhehehhee
He's just lucky that I'm so damn easy to get along with...hey you wanna rub my arm for a minute, go for it, hope you enjoy yourself, leave a quarter on the desk. ;o)
A quarter? Your arm has got to be worth more than that!
That's right, I was thinking of what it used to cost. It's got to be close to $2.00 now with inflation and all. hehehhehee
Actually he did bring me in a bottle of homemade wine, do you think that qualifies as bon bons? hehehehhehe...I think he is starting to get the drift. Some days I think I'm over-reacting and then other days I really feel like he is transgressing that line between friends and something slightly more intimate.
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