Sunday, May 15, 2005

Let Me Introduce You To....

We met about a month ago. At first meeting, I wasn’t even sure if I liked him. He was aggravating and intoxicating simultaneously, which left me with mixed feelings.

I’ve been seeing him almost daily since our first meeting and if I am unable to see him, I become very frustrated. It’s developed into a habit. A time consuming habit, but after leaving him, I always feel euphoric and therefore do not mind the time that I have been spending with him.

It’s like anything in life, sometimes the cost is worth the effort and sometimes it isn’t.

I believe that this time, the benefits far outweigh the loss of time doing other things, like updating my blog, or chatting online with my friends.

It seems to be changing the way I look. I’ve been complimented by my co-workers at how I seem to "glow". The euphoric feeling stays with me all day long. My job doesn’t seem to get me down, even if it should. I have been looking at challenges as mere side-steps rather than the insurmountable mountains that I would have before.

I’ve made a conscious decision to be faithful and loyal. I want to put forth whatever efforts are required to make this relationship work and I am confident that I have finally stumbled upon a real lifesaver.

Ladies and Gentleman, I am proud to introduce you to my new boyfriend, Mr. Treadmill.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Thank you!!

I just wanted to thank everyone for the wonderful comments. Life without Sammy is different and we are all adapting to a new home environment.

I have so many things to write about, but I haven't had a new relationship is eating up soooo much of my time.

I'll update you on all of this, this weekend. Until then, may the sun be shining on you no matter where you are.


Monday, May 02, 2005

Farewell My Friend

Some moments in time act as bookmarks for our brain, signifying those important moments as lifetime memories from all the other insignificant occurrences in our day to day life.

I recently experienced one of those moments. Last Monday, April 25th, 2005 I had to say goodbye to my long time friend, Sammy. Sammy was my dog. He would have been 15 years old in September.

He collapsed Monday night while I was at work, and the call from my daughter panicking and requesting me to leave work, was the call I had been dreading for some time.

Sammy had been fighting Cushings disease for the past three years. We can now look back and know that it was most likely more than the three years because the earliest symptoms began five years ago.

If you have never liked animals, or have never owned a dog, you may not understand the pain and loss that my family is feeling right now, but trust me, it is real.

My friend had rescued Sammy and his siblings from starvation. She convinced me to come inside to see the puppies one day and the only reason why she had to convince me was because my husband was adamant that we were not going to get a dog. I know how weak I am around animals so I knew that I would leave with one of the puppies. She had a huge cage in the middle of her kitchen and three puppies were happily running around the house with her four cats while Sammy cowered at the back of the cage, terrified of his own shadow.

I asked Helen to get him out and she placed him in my hands. He fit perfectly in them and I held him against my breast to calm his wildly beating heart. Shortly after he looked up in my eyes and started to lick my hand. His heart was calm and I was in love.

Helen agreed to keep him at her place for a couple of more weeks so that I could surprise my daughter with him as a Christmas gift.

First I had to convince my husband that it was a good idea. Thinking back on that argument now, I can see that was the beginning of the end of our relationship. He was very angry and in a rage yelled that if I brought the "F’ing" dog home; he would move out. I quietly asked him if he wanted help packing his bags and whether or not he would wait for Sammy’s arrival before he left or would he be leaving now.

Choosing Sammy over my husband proved to be a far better choice. The years of loyal companionship and unconditional love have left me with many happy memories.

My husband did finally leave but not for three years. He grew to love Sammy just as much as my daughter and I did. I don’t think Sammy ever warmed up to him altogether, because he probably sensed some animosity from my husband.

The first week after my husband moved out, I woke up in the middle of the night and fear engulfed my whole body. I could hear the loud steady breathing of another person, in bed beside me and their hot breath on my neck made every hair stand straight up. I laid perfectly still, while my mind raced on what to do. I decided that I had to roll over quietly and see who it was. I knew they were asleep by the sound of their breathing. Carefully I edged my body around so that I could twist my head enough to see who the perpetrator was. I let out a scream when my eyes caught the wild hairy face, and then I realised it was only Sammy. He had moved up the bed from the foot while I had slept and placed his head on my husband’s old pillow. It was as if he was saying, "it’s about time that asshole left, now I can sleep where I’m supposed to."

That is just one of the many, many warm memories that I have of my Sammy and because of those special moments I know he will never be far from my heart.

Monday night was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but for you Sammy, I would do it again and again. Thank you buddy for being one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I love you and now you are at peace and out of your pain.

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