Tuesday, June 05, 2012

The Hurting Words

I have discovered that something that is important to my success with my weight loss journey is not only what I put in my mouth, but what comes out of it.

The things we say can have a huge impact on how we think, and ultimately on our success. Chocobear started a message board about daily affirmations and I agreed with her that I truly believe they work. I have, at different times throughout my life, used this technique to win a race, succeed at high jump and win a judo match. So I know it works.

I'm not sure why, if I know this, that I don't always think about the words I use before I blurt them out. Words are a powerful tool. They have the ability to comfort and wound.

Earlier today, I was sharing a story about my little trip to Costco last night and my mess up at the snack bar. My daughter and I had decided to go to check out a little water feature as soon as I got home from work. I was hungry and I had suggested that we eat first, but she was concerned that if we did, we wouldn't head out the door and go afterwards. 

So hungry and tired, we got in the car and headed over. I decided that we might as well eat at the snack bar while we were there. Their food is cheap and that way we wouldn't be eating too late. I had been dreaming of their hot dogs since I had been in the store the day before.

Since this wasn't a planned dinner out, I wasn't prepared. I didn't have any idea how many Weight Watcher points anything was and I didn't care. I wanted a hot dog. I also wanted some fries, but I wasn't going to have any. My daughter decided to get some though, so I gave into my desire and shared them with her.

I was elated when she also said she wanted an ice cream cone. I had no intention of getting one, but was more than happy to consume 1/3 of it when she got too full. 

Today I finally figured out how many points I consumed during this little "snack bar" meal, thanks to a new web site I found called My Fitness Pal.com. It has a huge data base with information about nutritional contents of many foods. I'm not sure but I believe that the members of the website contribute the information. No matter, it was a blessing to find the information and face the truth about what I had done.

I felt like I had totally messed up last night with my dinner. The guilt was driving me crazy and I felt like I was about to spiral out of control. The hot dog and roll was a whopping 16 points, half the fries were 12 points and 1/3 of the ice cream cone comes in at 5 points. So in one fell swoop, I consumed 33 points. 

I was telling my co-worker how much I had screwed up last night. I told her how I didn't have any discipline, about how I ate half the fries and some of my daughters ice cream cone.

She cut me off and asked me why I was looking at this as a negative experience instead of a success. I didn't understand at first, but then she pointed out that in the past, I would have ordered the hot dog, the fries and an ice cream for myself and I would have eaten the whole thing. But I didn't do that this time. I consciously decided to share the fries and have a tiny bit of the ice cream. I should be proud of myself instead of upset.

She was right. I was defeating myself with my negative talk and hadn't even realized it. She helped me see what I was doing and stop it before it got out of hand.

So instead of going on an all out binge, I came home tonight and rode my bike for a half hour, did a load of laundry, cooked a nutritious dinner and watered my flowers outside.

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